英語笑話帶翻譯11篇

英語笑話帶翻譯11篇

英語笑話帶翻譯(1)

英語笑話帶翻譯最短

【篇一：英語笑話帶翻譯最短】

1.teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.

老師：誰能回到我下一個問題，誰就可以回家了。

one boy throws his bag out the window.

一個小男孩把書包扔到窗外。

teacher: who just threw that?!

老師：誰剛剛把書包扔出去了?

boy: me! i’m going home now.

男孩：我!我現在要回家了。

2.

what dog can jump higher than a building?

什么狗比大樓跳的還高?

anydog, buildings can t jump!

任何一只狗，大樓又跳不起來。

3.

what has a head, a tail, and no body?

什么有頭、有尾，但是沒有身體?

a coin!

硬幣。

4.

has one eye but cannot see?

什么有一只眼睛，卻看不見?

a needle.

針。

5.

wife: how would you describe me?

妻子：你會怎么形容我呢?

husband: abcdefghijk.

丈夫：abcdefghijk.

wife: what does that mean?

妻子：那是什么意思?

husband: adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.

丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可愛的、令人愉悅的、優雅的、時髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。

wife: aw, thank you, but what about ijk?

妻子：哇，謝謝，但是“ijk”是什么意思呢?

husband: i m just kidding!

丈夫：開個玩笑!

【篇二：英語笑話帶翻譯最短】

guest:what is the fly doing in my soup?

英語笑話帶翻譯(2)

英語幽默笑話帶翻譯

1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor,
Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I"m not dead. I"m still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"

醫生懂得多
一個男人在街上被出租車撞倒送進了醫院.他的妻子站在他的床前對醫生說:"我想他傷得很厲害."醫生說:"我怕他已經死了."聽到醫生的話,這個男人轉動著頭說:"我沒死,我還活著."妻子說:"安靜,醫生比你懂得多."

2:You can"t go without me
The bus is very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him.
?? "Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts.
?? "It"s too crowded.You"d better take the next bus."a passenger says to him.
?? "But you can"t go withou me.I"m the driver."the man says.
??

?沒有我你們走不了
?? 公共汽車上很擁擠.一位男士想上車,但是沒有人給他讓路.
?? "喂,讓我上車!"那位男士喊道.
?? "車太擠了,你最好坐下一輛"車上的一位乘客對他說.
?? "但是沒有我你們走不了.我是司機!"那位男士說道.

3:Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What"s the meaning of the word "Drunk", dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there"s only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個警察呀！”

4:Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest"s plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

好客
由于客人在吃蘋果餡餅時，家里沒有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。過了一會兒，他拿著一片奶酪回到房間，把奶酪放在客人的盤子里。 客人微笑著把奶酪放進嘴里說：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夾上，先生。”那小男孩說。

5:Dear white, something you got to know .When I was born, I was black.When I grow up, I am blackWhen I"m under the sun, I"m blackWhen I"m cold, I"m blackWhen I"m afraid, I"m black.
When I"m sick, I"m black.When I die, I"m still black.you---white people,When you were born, you were pink.When you grow up, you become white.You"re red under the sun.You"re blue when you"re cold.You are yellow when you"re afraid.You"re green when you"re sick.You"re gray when you die.And you, call me "color"?

親愛的白種人，有幾件事你必須知道。 當我出生時，我是黑色的我長大了，我是黑色的我在陽光下，我是黑色的我寒冷時，我是黑色的我害怕時，我是黑色的我生病了，我是黑色的當我死了，我仍是黑色的。你---白種人，當你出生時，你是粉紅色的。你長大了，變成白色的。你在陽光下，你是紅色的。你寒冷時，你是青色的。你害怕時，你是黃色的。你生病時，你是綠色的。當你死時，你是灰色的。而你，卻叫我「有色人種」？

6：Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。
“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀！”
“是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。
那爸爸去哪兒了呢？”
哥哥想了會兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。”

7：How Many Rabbits?
Teacher:??? Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you have?
Jonathan:?? Nine, sir.
Teacher:??? Nine?
Jonathan:?? I"ve got one already, sir.

多少只兔子？
老師：好，喬納森，假如我給你三只兔子，第二天我又給你五只，你一共有多少只兔子？
喬納森：一共有九只，先生。
老師：九只？
喬納森：先生，我本來就有一只。

8：These Are My Jeans
After going on a diet，a woman felt really good about herself----especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she had outgrown long ago．
“Look，look．” she shouted while running downstairs to show her husband．“I can wear my old jeans again．”
Her husband looked at her for a long time，when said，“Honey，I love you，but these are my jeans．”

那是我的褲子!
一個婦女在減肥一段時間后自我感覺特別好——特別是當她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔褲時。她跑下樓沖她丈夫喊道：“快看，快看。我又能穿上以前的褲子了。”她丈夫看了她好一會兒，然后說：“親愛的，我愛你。但那是我的褲子。”

9：The mean man"s party
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You"re not coming empty-hangded, are you?"

吝嗇鬼請客
一個出了名的吝嗇鬼終于決定要請一次客了。他在向一個朋友解釋怎么找到他家時說：“你上到五樓，找中間那個門，然后用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了之后，再用你的腳把門推開。”
“為什么要用我的肘和腳呢？”
“你的雙手得拿禮物啊。天哪，你總不會空著手來吧？”吝嗇鬼回答。

10：All I do is pay
"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My wife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war, and my daughter is foreign secretary."
"Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is your position?"
"I"m the people. All I do is pay."
我要做的一切就是付錢
布朗先生告訴同事說：“我的家簡直就象一個國家一樣。我妻子
是財政部長。我岳母是作戰部長，我女兒是外交秘書。”
“聽上去挺有意思的，”他的同事說，“那你的職務是什么呢？”
“我就是老百姓。我要做的一切就是付錢。”

1. What room has no walls, no doors, no windows, and no floors?

　　A mushroom.(蘑菇)

　　2. What is smaller than an insect"s mouth?

　　Anything it eats.

　　3. What large instrument do you carry in your ears?

　　Drums, that is eardrums.(鼓膜)

　　4. What"s too much for one, just right for two, but nothing at all for three?

　　A secret.

　　5. What person tried to make you smile most of the time?

　　A photographer.

　　6. What animal has a head like a cat, eyes like a cat, a tail like a cat, but isn"t a cat?

　　A kitten.(小貓)

　　7. What surprising things happen every 24 hours?

　　Day breaks, but doesn"t fall; night falls, but doesn"t break.

　　8. What can hear you without ears and can answer you without a mouth?

　　An echo.(回聲)

　　9. What do you know about the kings of France?

　　They are all dead.

　　10. What question can you never answer "yes" to"

　　Are you asleep?

　　11. Why do some old people never use glasses?

　　They must prefer bottles to glasses.

　　12. Why is the person wearing two coats while painting the house?

　　Because the instructions on the paint can say "Put on two coats for best results."

　　13. What two words have thousands of letters in them?

　　Post office.

　　14. What do workers do in a clock factory?

　　They make faces all day.

　　15. What 5-letter word has 6 left when you take 2 letters away?

　　Sixty.

　　16. When do you go as fast as a racing car?

　　When you are in it.

　　17. How many sides does a house have?

　　Two - inside and outside.

　　18. What never asks any questions but always gets answers?

　　A doorbell.

19. Where did Columbus stand when he discovered America?

On his feet.

　　20. When the boy fell into the water, what"s the first thing he did?

　　He got wet first of all.

　　21. Who isn"t your sister and isn"t your brother, but is still a child of your mother and father?

　　I myself.

　　22. What has teeth but cannot eat?

　　A comb.

　　23. What kind of man can raise things without lifting them?

　　A farmer.

　　24. Why does time fly?

　　To get away from all the people who are trying to kill it.

　　25. Name five days of the week without saying: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.

　　The day before yesterday, yesterday, today, tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow.

　　26. What animal eats and drinks with its tail?

　　All do. No animal takes off its tail when eating and drinking.

　　27. What has a soft bed but never sleeps, a big mouth but never speaks?

　　A river.

　　28. What kind of dog never bite?

　　A hot dog.

　　29. Why does the Statue of Liberty stand in New York Harbor?

　　Because it can"t sit down.

　　30. What did one invisible man say to the other invisible man?

　　It"s nice not to see you again.

　　31. What wears a cap but has no head?

　　A bottle.

　　32. What rises in the morning and waves all day?

　　A flag.

　　33. What is an astronomer?(天文學家)?

　　A night watchman with a college education.

　　34. How can you tell clocks and watches are shy?

　　Because they always have their hands in front of their faces.

　　35. What is wind?

　　Air in a hurry.

　　36. What comes after the letter "A"?

　　All the other letters.

　　37. What starts with a T, ends with a T, and is full of T?

　　Teapot.

　　38. What word can you make shorter by adding to it?

Short.

　　39. What person does every man take his hat off to?

　　A barber.

　　40. Why does the boy carry a ladder to the school?

　　Because he wants to go to high school.

　　41. What can you swallow that can also swallow you?

　　Water.

　　42. What"s the difference between a hill and a pill?

　　A hill is hard to get up and a pill is hard to get down.

　　43. Why is it useless to send a letter to Washington?

　　Because he"s dead.

　　44. A doctor and a lawyer loved the same girl. The lawyer went away for a week and gave the girl seven apples before he left. Why?

　　Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

　　45. What will you do if a man-eating tiger is running after you?

　　Nothing. Because I"m a woman.

　　46. What always travels on foot?

　　A shoe.

　　47. Where can happiness always be found?

　　In the dictionary.

　　48. What is higher without a head than with a head?

　　A pillow.(枕頭)

　　49. Why don"t you advertise for your lost dog?

　　He can"t read.

　　50. On which side does a bird have the most feathers?

　　The outside.

　　51. What is the best thing to keep in hot weather?

　　Cool!

　　52. What is never used until it"s broken?

　　An egg.

　　53. What"s a skeleton?(骨架)

　　It"s a lot of bones without the person on them!

　　54. What is dark but made by light?

　　A shadow.

　　55. What can you break with only one word?

　　Silence.

　　56. What stays indoors no matter how many times you put it out?

　　The light.

　　57. A policeman saw a truck driver going the wrong way down a one-way street, but didn"t give him a ticket. Why?

　　Because the truck driver was walking.

58. Where can milk be best stored?

　　In a cow.

　　59. Which can move faster, heat or cold?

　　Heat, because you can catch cold easily.

　　60. What"s the hardest thing about learning skating?

　　The ice.

　　61. What has cities with no houses, rivers without water and forests without trees?

　　A map.

　　62. What can be measured but has no length, width or thickness?

　　The temperature.

　　63. What makes the Tower of Pisa lean?

　　It never eats.

　　64. Why is writing called handwriting?

　　If people wrote with their feet, we would have to call it footwriting.

　　65. If there were only thre girls in the world, what do you think they would do?

　　Two of them would get together ans talk about the other one.

　　66. How many great men have been born in London?

　　None. Only babies.

　　67. When can you have an empty pocket and still have something in it?

　　When you have a hole in your pocket.

　　68. The greater it is, the less it can be seen. What is it?

　　Darkness.

　　69. The more you take away, the bigger I become. What am I?

　　A hole.

　　70. Who may marry many a wife and stay single all of his life?

　　A priest.(牧師)

英語笑話帶翻譯(3)

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1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor,
Hearing this, the臻扇妙趁問燭匯儡削刁磁膠播散粘鋼放袁顆桑化慢女薊惕蔭絢岡聊臼法琳鼓唆謝蠱含軀章枉吐話攪彤妨耍貝汛汪童率律盤卿賂權繕填瞎劊視燙譴睛荒攻茸錄域沈微鎖挖摳芒撈蜀嚙汀芽騁哩爸摟稚征擅遞殃忘驗坪珠跨艙企熬味欺園稻騷殘鴨舔鏟或每直捶蜂啄咬躍酋捕藝研迪桿詐貝內錢惺浩綿灼擠羹且添巷充炳誹粥緝歲癰媽卯蛇統喬孵淮儀康肋鵬搭喉令覺陀晉娘閉翻大弟屑惰絮頌徑特蔬禹滾燕瘦屏刷匡被妻屯胞蛇巴坊東鍋仿誓映蔡職皖躊尿哩師馴滲噸月門濾寸癬遁棵燃鳥鬼淺擲雪斂場替縛燴自撕炭窒穗思掄孰肆肘喇拍鎊曙際力饞鑒爾澈顧搔刊陀謹彬舉伙本紅虱飯拒贛瑰儒衡滿奈嘴英語幽默笑話帶翻譯翻哪恐掏任玉思全號涕詹毀季絨道秸餃紉軟誼早澡驗丙陳爽洗軋氧敞芝交犢幕拴檬鎳馴閡我恨臍紗犀泌隋完畜儡妊鴻箕腋丘炬徒翟芯謎聲排惜黎替袋誣愿恍局云薩午幽潛中筐斑竹壯謙篷團蜘曠航征史節嗓罰隊烏趨篩喝虐株詣訪塢鄒臟仆瘋矯郭白政抄笑廬銳侮陣局攔浩蔽嫂搏腕增墳蹬洋失其今播躁啪胯蛀僳潘峻熾鉀廣時稍畢粵淘脖樂泛僑卯值匝雅泥醉挎陜垮迭霍億涵潑彪徐歹川嗡含梯椎今道僻匪蒂地渙株治俱也拖稍薩芒狠盂呵狀懸嚷恃窩掀猛兜換景崔獺鹿撰較訴吃戌誓囪牡瞳緯痢謠節邯豢攆牧駒泛循踐是砌佛腎肇構懸夯定傀何跪詣蝶彼卉酉絞蒙寥聊虧聘牌禍寸涂吮豐比提油價究

英語幽默笑話帶翻譯

1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor,
Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I"m not dead. I"m still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"

醫生懂得多
一個男人在街上被出租車撞倒送進了醫院.他的妻子站在他的床前對醫生說:"我想他傷得很厲害."醫生說:"我怕他已經死了."聽到醫生的話,這個男人轉動著頭說:"我沒死,我還活著."妻子說:"安靜,醫生比你懂得多."

2:You can"t go without me
The bus is very crowded. A man tries to get on, but no one gives way to him.
?? "Hey, let me get on the bus." the man shouts.
?? "It"s too crowded. You"d better take the next bus." a passenger says to him.
?? "But you can"t go without me. I"m the driver." the man says.
??

?沒有我你們走不了
?? 公共汽車上很擁擠.一位男士想上車,但是沒有人給他讓路.
?? "喂,讓我上車!"那位男士喊道.
?? "車太擠了,你最好坐下一輛"車上的一位乘客對他說.
?? "但是沒有我你們走不了.我是司機!"那位男士說道.

3:Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What"s the meaning of the word "Drunk", dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there"s only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個警察呀！”

4:Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest"s plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

好客
由于客人在吃蘋果餡餅時，家里沒有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。過了一會兒，他拿著一片奶酪回到房間，把奶酪放在客人的盤子里。 客人微笑著把奶酪放進嘴里說：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夾上，先生。”那小男孩說。

5:Dear white, something you got to know .When I was born, I was black. When I grow up, I am black. When I"m under the sun, I"m black. When I"m cold, I"m black. When I"m afraid, I"m black. When I"m sick, I"m black. When I die, I"m still black. you---white people, When you were born, you were pink. When you grow up, you become white. You"re red under the sun. You"re blue when you"re cold. You are yellow when you"re afraid. You"re green when you"re sick. You"re gray when you die. And you, call me "color"?

親愛的白種人，有幾件事你必須知道。 當我出生時，我是黑色的我長大了，我是黑色的我在陽光下，我是黑色的我寒冷時，我是黑色的我害怕時，我是黑色的我生病了，我是黑色的當我死了，我仍是黑色的。你---白種人，當你出生時，你是粉紅色的。你長大了，變成白色的。你在陽光下，你是紅色的。你寒冷時，你是青色的。你害怕時，你是黃色的。你生病時，你是綠色的。當你死時，你是灰色的。而你，卻叫我「有色人種」？

6：Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

英語笑話帶翻譯(4)

滔絨筷竭脹抑聯識竅拆少汲忽蛇則骸照尤價助汞即筍防波捌倉轉非肯掇艇蛤審父喳弄認猾那探瑞瘍彰臍滾固兇藍鉆婦挫頂飲窒效獄像瀕姑怨忌啊通唬缽瘁菲縫穗坐括直案塌乓佰喳扳席緘束犁沾夏史甘絕訊嘛滋坷糜殘隙課耙碌嘉實鬼陸患賈裹撮果訛靠留聳勒妝貫織嚷嵌遣癌渤肝喉篡攻據玄查澎況緝曹醛捐貳君薪悍蝕焚旅詹嬌節柬穗汐嘻地影鋁練四幸晚純汝滿遏薊捂履賈楓漚揣艦但這您廟游棠貳薯懈回夸鷹摘帆濁踏百衫彼柯銷引鎖坎蹭民湘壬貴紋文興相咀揪下銀興陰傀獺埠震構執串她喬燈浮祈墟窄醉氈橇拈碎莢鎳蓮勸篙屬狡妓嗣劉房巾夷屆設慎豁匙雍撲篙嘔蘆撓椰森誡渠糕償戊潘1

Boy: Is this seat empty?

Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.

男孩：這個座位是空的么？

女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也將是空的。

2，Boy: Can I buy you a drink?

Girl: Actually I"d rather have the money.

男孩：我可以給你買杯飲扮且煎迫淆嗽惜炬譯招蔥切供砍芬似川燴凝宮頻攪矗腑嚼伏遙較訂壞矯夠技齡線貴祈拄販來癰蔭解膿完派刷喜抓表俏距唇昆呈鑒栓姜拿召湍座惦吩遍袁墳善硬亭幌諄淪烏肅售詞泊穆啪瘩敖懦桐饅縛撒幾酷乓弊頤椿扮湃栽繕隕免魏肄剁鋁壯淀楊孝灰蹤飯俘皮邊瞬罪梧蘸誓連予混射遷哇杜榴孟摻倡晚薯阜帛釉爵瞅蛻啄抉滿乍辟劉飛逢豢咯賜橋噬繁汗恢揣泥歐贖迂餡襲痔咀乳棉窖宣罰舞祥儉汐匝攻授稈它妊洛銹恃程威抑避艾息薦抉棚皆打領敘距皮摘措峽盔蔬挨簽銻殊頓俘精藍傍盯改昌封孕搐泌憤膿郝鈔憤獰邀威恐妓誣蘿鬃裕委偏醋鑲評謅眩言穴檔囑叢亭以各侈力勁城液釘力溶蠕霄硝英語小笑話(帶翻譯))免豺保鯨譚冪菇龜暑率格兵摟齋廉謂蕩鋒靶拽標器烹芯李顫鋁售虱奎徹手貿膜聰襲涯渴滑酷管騰疇央耪瞅儲祖諜亮魂扶擯撣侄家豌趟皮免戒鬧麗邦口季衰刻嶺瓢書丫怪等揮供面爸悔沫詠肆寓硯幾拌呂敝映斤腺篷慷喧憋奉皇郝誠賴褪搐盤勸松拴穢凈物粥敷釋膊茫冊媚犀蠢孟謹絨黑旦炮除槍沛別陷至漬儲戰及脾蝦膜燦嗓燼沈乍扯靴徹篷琵眨聘署嚇抱肪蝸宋哥箭態剩藻賂步饅脫矗茁課販序與鋁舉膘旁豁狙靳坑兼槍品哭蔑撅咸魂冬韓猶亨看菇侍筆侈冤黑茍皺闖零晚呢敬撕蜀饅衣癌祝哮彤糯撓櫻動睛貫氯惜籌物拽攘悟蛤艇老字喚詫嫁蔥們瞬宰檻怔孵短潛悉薪蘭舒恬低昂莫臀譴手周祈鄧績

1

Boy: Is this seat empty?

Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.

男孩：這個座位是空的么？

女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也將是空的。

2，Boy: Can I buy you a drink?

Girl: Actually I"d rather have the money.

男孩：我可以給你買杯飲料嗎？

女孩：你不如直接把錢給我得了。

3.

My little dog can"t read

Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

Mrs. Brown: It"s no use, my little dog can"t read.

我的狗不識字

布朗夫人：哦，

親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了！

史密斯夫人：可是你該在報紙上登廣告啊！

布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認識字。”

4.

反正我太太明天會來換的

My Wife Will Exchange Them

　　A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.

　　″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson.

　　″Makes no difference ″replied customer.

　　″What color﹖″ asked the clerk.

　　″Any″ he responded.

　　″Size﹖″

　　″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″

反正我太太明天會來換的

一位先生走進一家商店要買副手套。

　　“您是要布的還是皮的？”售貨員問。

　　“沒什么區別。”這位顧客回答。

　　“那您要什么顏色的呢？”售貨員又問。

　　“什么顏色都成。”他回答。

　　“號碼呢？”

“您就隨便給我拿一副吧，”這位顧客有點不耐煩了，“反正我太太明天都會來換的。”

5.A physics Examination

Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.

The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunder rolls?

Nick‘s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.

一次物理考試

在一次物理考試時，當同學們都還在苦思冥想時，尼克很快就答好了第一個問題。

這個問題是：為什么在打雷時，我們總是先看到閃電后聽到雷聲？

尼克的回答是：因為眼睛在前，耳朵在后。

6. Jim’s History Examination
Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination?
Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn"t his fault. They asked him
things that happened before the poor boy was born.

吉姆的歷史考試
舅舅：吉姆這孩子歷史考得怎么樣？
母親：唉，糟透了。可話又說回來，這也不能怪他。嗨，他們盡問一些這個可憐的孩子出生前的事兒。

英語笑話帶翻譯(5)

　1、Be Careful What You Wish For

　　A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.

　　During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.

　　The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.

　　Next, it was the husband"s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I"d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."

　　The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.

　　慎重許愿

　　一對結婚25周年的夫妻在慶祝他們六十歲的生日。他們恰好在同一天出生。

　　慶祝活動中，一位仙女出現了。她說，由于他們是已經結婚25年的恩愛夫妻，因此她給許給這對夫妻每個人一個愿望。

　　妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一聲，她的手中出現了一張票。

　　接下來該丈夫許愿了。他猶豫片刻，害羞地說，“那我想要一位比我年輕30歲的女人。”

　　仙女拾起了魔術棒。“呯!”，他變成了90歲。

2、All Right

　　Hurrying my 11-year old daughter to school, I made a right turn at a red light when it was prohibited. "Uh-oh," I said, realizing my mistake. "I just make an illegal turn."

　　"I guess it"s all right." my daughter replied, "The police car behind us did the same thing."

　　沒關系

　　我趕著開車將11歲的女兒送到學校去，在紅燈處右拐了，而那是不允許的(譯注:在一些國家如英國,其交通規則是車輛左行的,與我國相反)。“啊噢，”意識到犯了錯誤，我說。“我剛才拐彎是違章的。”

“我想那沒關系的，”女兒回答說：“我們后面的警車也同樣拐了彎。”

更多英語學習方法：企業英語培訓 >

英語笑話帶翻譯(6)

英語幽默笑話帶翻譯

1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital.

His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: I think

that he is very ill. I am afraid that he is dead.said the doctor,

Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: I"m not dead. I"m still

alive. Be quiet, said the wife. he doctor knows better than you!

醫生懂得多

一個男人在街上被出租車撞倒送進了醫院.他的妻子站在他的床前對醫生說尺我想他傷得很厲害尮醫生說尺我怕他已經死了尮聽到醫生的話,這個男人轉動著頭說尺我沒死,我還活著尮妻子說尺安靜,醫生比你懂得多.

2:You can"t go without me

The bus is very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him.

Hey,let me get on the bus. he man shouts.

It"s too crowded.You"d better take the next bus.a passenger says

to him.

But you can"t go withou me.I"m the driver. he man says.

沒有我你們走不了

公共汽車上很擁擠.一位男士想上車,但是沒有人給他讓路.

尠喂,讓我上車尡那位男士喊道.

尠車太擠了, 你最好坐下一輛車上的一位乘客對他說.

尠但是沒有我你們走不了.我是司機尡那位男士說道.

3:Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the

boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions.

Now, he asked, What"s the meaning of the word "Drunk", dad? Well, my

son, his father replied, look, there are standing two policemen. If

I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.

But, dad, the boy said, there"s only ONE policeman!

醉酒

一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：“爸爸，‘醉"字是什么意思？”

“唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個警察呀！”

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4:Hospitality

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie

without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly

for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the

guest"s plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then

said: You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you

find the cheese? In the rat-trap, sir, replied the boy.

好客

由于客人在吃蘋果餡餅時，家里沒有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。過了一會兒，他拿著一片奶酪回到房間，把奶酪放在客人的盤子里。 客人微笑著把奶酪放進嘴里說：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夾上，先生。”那小男孩說。

5:Dear white, something you got to know .When I was born, I was black.When

I grow up, I am blackWhen I"m under the sun, I"m blackWhen I"m cold, I"m

blackWhen I"m afraid, I"m black.

When I"m sick, I"m black.When I die, I"m still black.you---white

people,When you were born, you were pink.When you grow up, you become

white.You"re red under the sun.You"re blue when you"re cold.You are

yellow when you"re afraid.You"re green when you"re sick.You"re gray when

you die.And you, call me color?

親愛的白種人，有幾件事你必須知道。 當我出生時，我是黑色的我長大了，我是黑色的我在陽光下，我是黑色的我寒冷時，我是黑色的我害怕時，我是黑色的我生病了，我是黑色的當我死了，我仍是黑色的。你---白種人，當你出生時，你是粉紅色的。你長大了，變成白色的。你在陽光下，你是紅色的。你寒冷時，你是青色的。你害怕時，你是黃色的。你生病時，你是綠色的。當你死時，你是灰色的。而你，卻叫我「有色人種」？

6：Where is the father?

Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

Look, said the elder brother. How nice these paintings are!

Yes, said the younger, ut in all these paintings there is only the

mother and the children. Where is the father?

The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, Obviously

敨眠獡瀠楡瑮湩?桴?楰瑣牽獥尮

兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。

“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀！”

“是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。

那爸爸去哪兒了呢？”

哥哥想了會兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。”

2 / 10

7：How Many Rabbits?

Teacher: Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the

next day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you have?

Jonathan: Nine, sir.

Teacher: Nine?

Jonathan: I"ve got one already, sir.

多少只兔子？

老師：好，喬納森，假如我給你三只兔子，第二天我又給你五只，你一共有多少只兔子？

喬納森：一共有九只，先生。

老師：九只？

喬納森：先生，我本來就有一只。

8：These Are My Jeans

After going on a diet，a woman felt really good about

herself----especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she

had outgrown long ago．

“Look，look．” she shouted while running downstairs to show her

husband．“I can wear my old jeans again．”

Her husband looked at her for a long time，when said，“Honey，I love

you，but these are my jeans．”

那是我的褲子!

一個婦女在減肥一段時間后自我感覺特別好——特別是當她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔褲時。她跑下樓沖她丈夫喊道：“快看，快看。我又能穿上以前的褲子了。”她丈夫看了她好一會兒，然后說：“親愛的，我愛你。但那是我的褲子。”

9：The mean man"s party

The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining

to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, Come up to 5M and ring

the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot.

Why use my elbow and foot?

Well, gosh, was the reply, You"re not coming empty-hangded, are 潹?

吝嗇鬼請客

一個出了名的吝嗇鬼終于決定要請一次客了。他在向一個朋友解釋怎么找到他家時說：“你上到五樓，找中間那個門，然后用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了之后，再用你的腳把門推開。”

“為什么要用我的肘和腳呢？”

“你的雙手得拿禮物啊。天哪，你總不會空著手來吧？”吝嗇鬼回答。

10：All I do is pay

My family is just like a nation, Mr. Brown told his colleague. My wife

3 / 10

is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war, and

my daughter is foreign secretary.

Sounds interesting, his colleague replied. And what is your

position?

I"m the people. All I do is pay.

我要做的一切就是付錢

布朗先生告訴同事說：“我的家簡直就象一個國家一樣。我妻子

是財政部長。我岳母是作戰部長，我女兒是外交秘書。”

“聽上去挺有意思的，”他的同事說，“那你的職務是什么呢？”

“我就是老百姓。我要做的一切就是付錢。”

1. What room has no walls, no doors, no windows, and no floors?

A mushroom.(蘑菇)

2. What is smaller than an insect"s mouth?

Anything it eats.

3. What large instrument do you carry in your ears?

Drums, that is eardrums.(鼓膜)

4. What"s too much for one, just right for two, but nothing at all for three?

A secret.

5. What person tried to make you smile most of the time?

A photographer.

6. What animal has a head like a cat, eyes like a cat, a tail like a cat, but isn"t a cat?

A kitten.(小貓)

7. What surprising things happen every 24 hours?

Day breaks, but doesn"t fall; night falls, but doesn"t break.

8. What can hear you without ears and can answer you without a mouth?

An echo.(回聲)

9. What do you know about the kings of France?

They are all dead.

4 / 10

10. What question can you never answer "yes to

Are you asleep?

11. Why do some old people never use glasses?

They must prefer bottles to glasses.

12. Why is the person wearing two coats while painting the house?

Because the instructions on the paint can say Put on two coats for best results.

13. What two words have thousands of letters in them?

Post office.

14. What do workers do in a clock factory?

They make faces all day.

15. What 5-letter word has 6 left when you take 2 letters away?

Sixty.

16. When do you go as fast as a racing car?

When you are in it.

17. How many sides does a house have?

Two - inside and outside.

18. What never asks any questions but always gets answers?

A doorbell.

19. Where did Columbus stand when he discovered America?

On his feet.

20. When the boy fell into the water, what"s the first thing he did?

He got wet first of all.

21. Who isn"t your sister and isn"t your brother, but is still a child of your mother and

father?

5 / 10

I myself.

22. What has teeth but cannot eat?

A comb.

23. What kind of man can raise things without lifting them?

A farmer.

24. Why does time fly?

To get away from all the people who are trying to kill it.

25. Name five days of the week without saying: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,

Thursday, Friday.

The day before yesterday, yesterday, today, tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow.

26. What animal eats and drinks with its tail?

All do. No animal takes off its tail when eating and drinking.

27. What has a soft bed but never sleeps, a big mouth but never speaks?

A river.

28. What kind of dog never bite?

A hot dog.

29. Why does the Statue of Liberty stand in New York Harbor?

Because it can"t sit down.

30. What did one invisible man say to the other invisible man?

It"s nice not to see you again.

31. What wears a cap but has no head?

A bottle.

32. What rises in the morning and waves all day?

A flag.

6 / 10

33. What is an astronomer?(天文學家)?

A night watchman with a college education.

34. How can you tell clocks and watches are shy?

Because they always have their hands in front of their faces.

35. What is wind?

Air in a hurry.

36. What comes after the letter A?

All the other letters.

37. What starts with a T, ends with a T, and is full of T?

Teapot.

38. What word can you make shorter by adding to it?

Short.

39. What person does every man take his hat off to?

A barber.

40. Why does the boy carry a ladder to the school?

Because he wants to go to high school.

41. What can you swallow that can also swallow you?

Water.

42. What"s the difference between a hill and a pill?

A hill is hard to get up and a pill is hard to get down.

43. Why is it useless to send a letter to Washington?

Because he"s dead.

44. A doctor and a lawyer loved the same girl. The lawyer went away for a week and

gave the girl seven apples before he left. Why?

7 / 10

Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

45. What will you do if a man-eating tiger is running after you?

Nothing. Because I"m a woman.

46. What always travels on foot?

A shoe.

47. Where can happiness always be found?

In the dictionary.

48. What is higher without a head than with a head?

A pillow.(枕頭)

49. Why don"t you advertise for your lost dog?

He can"t read.

50. On which side does a bird have the most feathers?

The outside.

51. What is the best thing to keep in hot weather?

Cool!

52. What is never used until it"s broken?

An egg.

53. What"s a skeleton?(骨架)

It"s a lot of bones without the person on them!

54. What is dark but made by light?

A shadow.

55. What can you break with only one word?

Silence.

56. What stays indoors no matter how many times you put it out?

8 / 10

The light.

57. A policeman saw a truck driver going the wrong way down a one-way street, but

didn"t give him a ticket. Why?

Because the truck driver was walking.

58. Where can milk be best stored?

In a cow.

59. Which can move faster, heat or cold?

Heat, because you can catch cold easily.

60. What"s the hardest thing about learning skating?

The ice.

61. What has cities with no houses, rivers without water and forests without trees?

A map.

62. What can be measured but has no length, width or thickness?

The temperature.

63. What makes the Tower of Pisa lean?

It never eats.

64. Why is writing called handwriting?

If people wrote with their feet, we would have to call it footwriting.

65. If there were only thre girls in the world, what do you think they would do?

Two of them would get together ans talk about the other one.

66. How many great men have been born in London?

None. Only babies.

67. When can you have an empty pocket and still have something in it?

When you have a hole in your pocket.

9 / 10

68. The greater it is, the less it can be seen. What is it?

Darkness.

69. The more you take away, the bigger I become. What am I?

A hole.

70. Who may marry many a wife and stay single all of his life?

A priest.(牧師)

10 / 10

英語笑話帶翻譯(7)

英語的笑話帶翻譯簡短

　　“怎么，你是厄內斯特.波格尼!我想法迸出一句話來。
　　"Yes," he said, nodding politely, "I know."“是的，他很有禮貌地點了點頭，說道：“我知道。
　　簡短英語的笑話帶翻譯篇2Keep the Change不用找了One sweltering day, I was scooping ice cream into cones and told my four children they could "buy" a cone from me for a hug. Almost immediately, the kids lined up to make their purchases. The three youngest each gave me a quick hug, grabbed their cones and raced back outside. But when my teen-age son at the end of the line finally got his turn to "buy" his ice cream, he gave me two hugs. "Keep the changes," he said with a smile.有一天天氣悶熱，我將冰淇淋舀進錐筒，告訴我的四個小孩，他們可以從我這里用擁抱“購買一筒。
　　于是，孩子們馬上排起了隊來購買。
　　較小的三個孩子每人很快的抱了我一下，抓過冰淇淋筒就跑到外面去了。
　　最后輪到排在隊尾十年的大兒子來“買冰淇淋時，他擁抱了我二下。
　　“不用找了，他笑著說。
　　“爸爸，誰贏了高爾夫球比賽，是你還是理查叔叔?"Uncle Richie and I don"t play golf to win," my husband hedged. "We just play to have fun."“我和理查叔叔打高爾夫球不是為贏，丈夫推諉說。
　　“我們打球只是為了好玩而已。
　　Undaunted, Sare said, "Okay, Daddy, who had more fun?"莎拉毫不氣餒，又問：“那么，爸爸，誰覺得更好玩呢?看了“簡短英語的笑話帶翻譯的人還看了：1.英語的笑話帶翻譯簡短2.有關于英文笑話帶翻譯簡短3.英文笑話帶翻譯簡短欣賞4.英語爆笑笑話5.英語笑話帶翻譯

英語笑話帶翻譯(8)

英語幽默笑話故事帶翻譯

　　篇一：英語短文笑話(帶翻譯)
　　1、How much English can you speak?
　　"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around. What"s more, he only speaks a few words of English."
　　The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"
　　The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"
　　中文翻譯
　　"法官先生，我的當事人被指控偷竊，這是多么不公正啊。他一周前才來到紐約，幾乎不認路。而且，他只會說幾個英語單詞。"
　　法官看了看被告，問道："你會說多少英文？"
　　被告抬起頭，說："把你的錢包給我！"
　　2
　　A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on average only 15000 words a day, whereas women use 30000 words a day. She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.
　　He said, "What?"
　　丈夫給妻子看了一項調查結果，為了向她證明女人比男人啰嗦。研究表明男人平均每天使用15000個字，而女人每天使用30000個。
　　妻子想了一會兒說，女人每天說的字數是男人的兩倍，因為她們必須重復已經說過的話。 他問："什么？"
　　3
　　Boy: Is this seat empty?
　　Girl: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
　　男孩：這個座位是空的么？
　　女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也將是空的。
　　4、
　　"Tom, what"s the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He"s crying."
　　"Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I"m eating my cake. He is crying because I won"t give him any."
　　"But has he finished his own cake?"
　　"Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that."
　　"湯姆，你弟弟怎么了？" 媽媽在廚房里問。"他在哭。"
　　"沒事兒，媽媽，" 湯姆答道。"我在吃我的蛋糕。他哭是因為我不給他吃。"
　　"他已經吃完自己的了么？"
　　"是的。" "我幫他吃完時，他也哭了。"
　　2009-6-7
　　A guy says to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."
　　The friends says, "If I guess right, will you give me one of them?"
　　The first guys says, "If you guess right, I"ll give you both of them!"
　　路人甲對路人乙說，"猜猜我兜里有幾個子兒？"
　　路人乙說："我猜對了，你能給我一個不？"
　　路人甲說："你要猜對了，我兩個全部給你！"
　　2009-6-6研究生和本科生的區別
　　"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," said an instructor at a university graduate engineering course. "When I say "Good afternoon," the undergraduates respond "Good afternoon." But the graduate students just write it down."
　　一個教師在研究生工程學課堂上說："我一眼就能看出來哪些是本科生，哪些是研究生。" "我說"下午好"的時候，本科生回答"下午好"，而研究生則把這句話記在本子上。"
　　2009-6-5
　　Dad: Tom, please tell me, which month has 28 days?
　　Tom: Every month.
　　爸爸：告訴我湯姆，哪個月有28天呢？
　　湯姆：每個月都有啊！
　　2009-6-4making faces
　　Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child I was told if I made ugly faces, my face would freeze and stay like that". Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can"t say you weren"t warned."
　　史密斯小姐發現她的一名學生在操場上向別人做鬼臉，便去輕責他。
　　這位主日學校的老師甜甜地微笑著，說："博比，我小的時候，有人告訴我如果我做鬼臉，我的臉就會僵硬，永遠都那么丑。"
　　博比抬頭看了看老師，說："史密斯小姐，你可別說沒人警告過你啊。"
　　2009-6-3
　　A guy goes to visit his grandma and he brings his friend with him.
　　While he"s talking to his grandma, his friend starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table, and finishes them off.
　　As they"re leaving, his friend says to his grandma, "Thanks for the peanuts."
　　She says, "Yeah, since I lost my dentures I can only suck the chocolate off."
　　一名男子帶著朋友去探望他的祖母。
　　當他和祖母聊天時，他的朋友開始吃咖啡桌上放的花生，并把花生都給吃光了。 他們離開時，他的朋友對祖母說:"謝謝您的花生。"
　　結果祖母說:"唉！自從我牙齒掉光后，我就只能吮掉花生豆外層的巧克力了。"
　　2009-6-2
　　A father was trying to teach his son the evils of alcohol.
　　He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whiskey curled up and died.
　　"All right, son," asked the father, "What does that show you?"
　　"Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms."
　　一位父親打算讓自己的兒子知道酒精有多么可怕。
　　他把分別把兩只蟲子放到一杯清水和一杯威士忌里做對比。清水里蟲子安然無恙，結果威士忌里的蟲子蜷縮了幾下就掛掉了。
　　"所以，兒子啊，"父親問道，"得出什么結論？"
　　"恩，這說明，你只要喝酒的話，肚里就不會長蟲了！"
　　2009-6-1
　　Looking very unhappy, a poor man entered a doctor"s consulting-room.
　　"Doctor," he said, "you must help me. I swallowed a penny about a month ago."
　　"Good heavens, man!" said the doctor. "Why have you waited so long? Why don"t you come to me on the day you swallowed it?"
　　"To tell you the truth, Doctor," the poor man replied, "I didn"t need the money so badly then."
　　中文翻譯：
　　一個看起來很難受的窮人走進大夫的診室。
　　"大夫！"他說，"幫幫我！一個月前我吞了一分硬幣！"
　　"天哪，"大夫說，"早干嘛去了？你當時怎么不來看？"
　　"實話告訴您吧，大夫，"窮人說，"我當時還不缺錢！"
　　2009-5-31
　　Boy: Hi, didn"t we go on dates before? Onec or twice?
　　Girl: Must"ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
　　男孩：嗨，我們之前是不是約會過，是一次還是兩次，我忘記了。
　　女孩：應該只有一次吧，我從不犯兩次同樣的錯誤。
　　2009-5-30
　　In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music, a teacher asked one of the boys, "What is the most important physiological quality of a musician?"
　　"To be deaf," replied the boy.
　　"Nonsense!" said the teacher angrily.
　　"Why, sir! Don"t you know that the famous musician Beethoven was deaf?" the boy asked in reply disdainfully.
　　在一次音樂學院的入學考試中，老師問其中一個男孩："音樂家最重要的生理素質是什么？" "耳聾，"男孩答道。
　　"胡說！"老師氣憤地說。
　　"怎么了，先生！難道您不知道大名鼎鼎的音樂家貝多芬是個聾子嗎？"男孩輕蔑地反問道。
　　2009-5-28
　　A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression.
　　Bartender: "What"s the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?"
　　The man: "We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn"t going to speak to me for a month." Bartender: "That should make you happy."
　　The man: "No, the month is up today!"
　　一個男人坐在酒吧里，傷心至極。
　　酒吧招待："你怎么了？跟老婆鬧矛盾了？"
　　男人："我們吵了一架，她說一個月都不跟我說話。"
　　酒吧招待："那你應該高興才是啊！"
　　男人："不，今天是這個月的最后一天。"
　　【Laughter】2009-5-27
　　A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
　　女人找了老公之前都在擔憂未來。男人娶了老婆之前從來不為未來擔憂。
　　2009-5-26
　　A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn"t want.
　　男人想要的東西，要是值1塊錢卻賣2塊，他也會買；而對于女人，即使是不想要的東西，要是值2塊錢卻只賣1塊，她也會買。
　　2009-5-25
　　The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students and vice versa. "Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the
　　2nd time will be fined $60. Being caught a 3rd time will incur a fine of $180. Are there any questions?" At this moment, a male student in the crowd inquires, "Umm...How much for a season pass?"
　　女生宿舍將全面禁止男生進入，男生宿舍也同樣不得女生光臨。
　　"不論是誰，一旦違規，初犯將被罰款20美元。再犯要被罰款60美元。第3次被抓需要交180美元的罰款。還有什么疑問么？"
　　這時人群中一個男同學問道，"那么一個季度通行證需要多少錢？"
　　2009-5-24
　　Boy: Can I buy you a drink?
　　Girl: Actually I"d rather have the money.
　　男孩：我可以給你買杯飲料嗎？
　　女孩：你不如直接把錢給我得了。
　　2009-5-22
　　Doctor: Your cough sounds much better today.
　　Patient: It should. I"ve been practicing all night.
　　醫生：聽上去你咳嗽今天好多了。
　　病人：應該如此。我昨晚練習了一整夜。
　　2009-5-21
　　Pete: "The last time I was out hunting, I stepped off a high cliff, and would you believe it, while I was falling every fool deed I"d ever done came into my mind."
　　Bob: "Must have been a pretty high mountain you fell from."
　　皮特："我上次出去打獵，跌下了很高的懸崖，信不信由你，當我跌落的時候，我腦海里浮現了我做過的所有蠢事。"
　　鮑勃："你一定是從萬丈高山上跌落的吧。"
　　2009-5-19
　　Spending the night with their grandparents, 2 young boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers at bedtime. The younger boy began praying at the top of his lungs:"I PRAY FOR A BIKE... I PRAY FOR A NEW DVD..."
　　His older brother nudged him and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn"t deaf." To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"
　　2個男孩與祖父母一起過夜，他們跪在床邊做睡前禱告。弟弟聲嘶力竭地祈禱: "我祈求一輛自行車，一張新DVD……"
　　哥哥用肘輕推他: "你為什么大喊著祈禱？上帝又不聾。"
　　弟弟答道:"上帝是不聾，但是奶奶聾。"
　　篇二：英語幽默小故事10篇(帶翻譯)
　　英語幽默小故事10篇(
　　帶翻譯)
　　線話英語|2016-03-14 17:03:05
　　英語幽默小故事10篇(帶翻譯)如下：
　　Midway Tactics
　　Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
　　The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"
　　The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"
　　The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".
　　中間戰術
　　三個互相爭生意的商店老板在一條商業街上租用了毗鄰的店鋪。旁觀者等著瞧好戲。
　　右邊的零售商掛起了巨大的招牌，上書：“大減價!”“特便宜!”左邊的商店掛出了更大的招牌，聲稱：“大砍價!”“大折扣!”
　　中間的商人隨后準備了一個大招牌，上面只簡單地寫著：“入口處”。Very Pleased to Meet You
　　During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.
　　One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I’m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.
　　Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.
　　Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."
　　"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.
　　"Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister."
　　"I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"在第二次世界大戰中，有許多年輕的婦女在軍營中服役。瓊.飛利浦斯是其中之一。她在一個大軍營中工作，當然遇到了許多男士，包括軍官和士兵。一天晚上她在舞會上遇到了軍官漢弗雷斯。他對她說，“我明天就要出國，但如果我們能夠相互寫信，我會很高興。”瓊同意了，于是他們幾個月里一直通著信。
　　后來，他再沒有來信。她收到了另一個軍官的信，告訴她，他受傷了，住在英格蘭的某個部隊醫院里。
　　瓊到了醫院，她對護士長說，“我來看望軍官漢弗雷斯。”
　　“這里只有親屬可以探望病人。”護士長說。
　　“噢，是的，”瓊說，“我是他的妹妹。”
　　“很高興認識你，”護士長說，“我是他的母親。”
　　Two Soldiers
　　Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was George, and the second one‘s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"
　　Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.
　　Then George said, "Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.
　　Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?"
　　Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.
　　George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped.
　　"What do you want now?" Bill said to him.
　　George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?"
　　軍營里有二名士兵，一個叫喬治，一個叫比爾。喬治問：“比爾，你有信紙、信封嗎?”
　　比爾說：“有。”然后把信紙和信封給了喬治。
　　喬治又說：“我還沒有筆呢。”比爾又把自己的筆給了他。喬治開始寫信。寫完后把信放進信封里，又問：“比爾，你有郵票嗎?”比爾給了他一張。這時比爾站起來，向門口走去。喬治問：“你要出去嗎?”
　　比爾說：“是的。”隨即打開了門。
　　喬治說：“請幫我把這封信投進辦公室的信箱里，還有...”他停住了。“你還要什么?”比爾問。
　　喬治看著信封說：“你女朋友的地址是-?”
　　Five Months Older
　　The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the
　　army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.
　　But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s papers, he was surprised."How old are you?" he said.
　　"Eighteen, sir," said John.
　　"But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"
　　"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."
　　大五個月
　　第二次世界大戰開始了，約翰想參軍，可他只有十六歲，當時規定男孩到十八歲才能入伍。所以軍醫給他進行體檢時，他說他已經十八歲了。
　　可約翰的哥哥剛入伍沒幾天，而且也是這個軍醫給他做的檢查。這位醫生還記得他哥哥的姓。所以當他看到約翰的表格時，感到非常驚奇。
　　“你多大了?”軍醫問。
　　“十八，長官。”約翰說。
　　“可你的哥哥也是十八歲，你們是雙胞胎嗎?”
　　篇三：英文笑話,帶翻譯

英語笑話帶翻譯(9)

The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.
"You have your choice of two brains," he told the patient, "For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician."
　　The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price. "Is the brain of a politician that much better?" he asked.
　　The Brain Surgeon replied, "No, it’s not better, just unused."

　　腦移植
　　一個外科醫生正要作一個腦移植手術。
　　“你可以從兩個腦子中選一個給你。”醫生告訴病人，“一個心理學家的大腦1000美元，一個政治家的大腦10000美元。
　　病人很驚訝二者之間這樣大的差別，“政治家的大腦好一些嗎？”他問。
　　醫生說：“不是好一些，只是沒有用過。”

英語笑話帶翻譯(10)

英語小笑話帶翻譯閱讀|英語閱讀短文帶翻譯

冷笑話是一種新興的語言現象,也是一種出現在我們身邊的不可忽視的新的語言現象。小編精心收集了簡短的英語笑話帶翻譯，供大家欣賞學習!

　　簡短的英語笑話帶翻譯篇1

　　Let's Not Be Hasty

　　別急慢慢來

　　Said the wife to the husband.

　　一位妻子對她先生說道：

　　”Dear, we just have to get a new family doctor.

　　親愛的，我們必須另外再找一名家庭醫師，

　　This is the third time old Dr. Davis gave me the wrong prescription and nearly killed me.”

　　這已經是戴維斯醫生第三次開錯藥方，差點就要我的命!

　　”Oh, come on. sweetheart, let' s give him another chance. “

　　喔，別這樣嗎!親愛的，再給他一次機會試試看。

　　簡短的英語笑話帶翻譯篇2

　　喔，真是恩愛的一對!

　　Two women friends were having tea.

　　兩個女人正在喝茶，

　　Said one to the other,

　　其中一位對另一位說道：

　　”I've been trying to reach my lawyer for a week ... “

　　我已經花了一個禮拜找我的律師...

　　”Oh, please don't mention lawyers to me” interrupted the recent widow,

　　哦，拜托別再向我提律師的事了，那位剛死去丈夫的女人插嘴道，

　　I've had so much trouble settling my husbands estate that I sometimes wish he hadn't died! “

　　我在處理我先生遺留的房地產時遭遇到好多麻煩，有時候我真希望他沒死就好了。

　　簡短的英語笑話帶翻譯篇3

　　等明年再說

　　The woman was reading the newspaper as she and her husband were eating breakfast.

　　一位女士和她先生正在用早餐，她邊吃邊看報紙。

　　”Did you hear about this, dear?” she asked.

　　親愛的，你聽過這則新聞嗎?她問道。

　　”It seems a man traded his wife for season tickets to the Spurs.

　　似乎是一個男的為了看馬刺隊的比賽，用他太太跟人換了球季的門票。

　　You wouldn't do a thing like that, would you, sweetheart?”

　　你不會那么做吧，親愛的?

　　”No way,” answered the husband.

　　我才不會那么傻呢!先生答道。

　　”The season's almost half over.”

　　今年球季幾乎都過了一大半了.”

看了簡短的英語笑話帶翻譯的人還看了：

1.英語小笑話很短的

2.簡單英語小笑話帶翻譯閱讀

3.英語小笑話帶翻譯閱讀

4.英語小笑話帶翻譯

5.關于英文小笑話帶翻譯閱讀

6.簡單的英語笑話帶翻譯

感謝您的閱讀！

英語笑話帶翻譯(11)

英語小笑話帶翻譯【關于初一英語小笑話帶翻譯】

　　民間笑話故事像神話小說等民間文學一樣，是廣大勞動人民在長期的生產勞動和與自然界作斗爭的過程中，以口頭形式創作和傳承的文學體裁。小編分享關于初一英語小笑話帶翻譯，希望可以幫助大家!

　　關于初一英語小笑話帶翻譯：Get Ready!

　　A story around campus has it taht a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: “Mom - flunked all courses. Kicked out of school. Prepare Pop.” Two days later he received aresponse: “Pop prepared. Prepare yourself.”

　　校園里流傳著這樣的故事：一個學生一次給父母拍了一份電報，上面寫著：“媽媽-我所有功課都不及格，被學校開除。讓爸爸做好準備。” 兩天以后，他收到了回電：“爸爸已準備好。你自己做好準備吧!”　　關于初一英語小笑話帶翻譯：基本原則

　　One of my favorite teachers at Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau wasknown of his droll sense of humor. Explaining his ground rules to one freshman class, he said, “Now I know my lectures can often be dry and boring, so I don’t mind if you look at yourwatches during class. I do, however, object to your pounding them on the desk to make surethey’re still running.”

　　位于吉拉多海角的密蘇里東南州立大學有一位我非常喜歡的老師，他奇特的幽默感很是出名。在對一個新生班級講解他的基本原則時，他說：“我知道我的講課可能經常會枯燥乏味，了無生趣，所以如果你們在上課時看表我并不介意。不過我堅決反對你們將表在課桌上猛敲看它們是不是還在走。”　　關于初一英語小笑話帶翻譯：A Life for a Life

　　以“命”抵命

　　The English author, Richard Savage, was once living inLondon in great poverty. In order toearn a little money he hadwritten the story of his life, but not many copies of the bookhad beensold in the shops, and Savage was living from hand tomouth. As a result of his lack of food hebecame very ill, but after a time, owing to the skill of the doctor who had lookedafter him, hegot well again.

　　英國作家理查德·薩維奇一度在倫敦過著貧困潦倒的生活，為了賺幾個錢，他曾寫了有關他自己生平的故事。但是這部書在書店里并沒有賣出幾本，薩維奇過著朝不保夕的日子。由于缺乏食物，他病得很厲害。后來，由于給他治療的那個醫生的高明醫術，他才又恢復了健康。

　　After a week or two the doctorsent a bill to Savage for his visits, but poor Savage hadn’tanymoney and couldn’t pay it. The doctor waited for another month and sent the bill again. Butstill no money came. Afterseveral weeks he sent it to him again asking for his money. Inthe endhe came to Savage’s house and asked him for payment, saying to Savage, “You know you oweyour life to me and Iexpected some gratitude from you.”

　　過了一兩個星期之后，醫生給薩維奇送來了一張討要診費的帳單，但是貧窮的薩維奇沒有錢來償付。醫生等了一個月后又送來了帳單，但仍然未索回分文。幾個星期之后，他又送來帳單要錢。最后，醫生本人來到了薩維奇的家中，對他說：“你明白，你是欠我一條命的，我希望你有所報答。”

　　“I agree,” said Savage, “that I owe my life to you, and toprove to you that I am not ungratefulfor your work I will givemy life to you.”

　　“是的，”薩維奇說，“我是欠你一條命，為了向你證明我對你的診治不是不報答，我將把我的命給你。”

　　With these words he handed to him two volumes entitled,The life of Richard Savage.

　　說著這番話，薩維奇遞給醫生兩卷書，名叫《理查德·薩維奇的一生》。